rolling dice and staying out 'til three.

[theorized]

There was once a period of time, shortly before Chase married Allison, where he'd let himself go a little where looks were concerned. Styling his hair, shaving every single day, these were things he did when it was necessary to keep up appearances, when he didn't have a reputation to fall back on, and when decisions could be affected by the way he dressed or held himself. When most of his time was spent at an operating table, these things mattered less. When he was married, with a woman whom he believed loved him, and in most ways beyond the superficial, he didn't need to hold himself to an artificially high standard.

He regressed shortly after their separation, kept himself clean and proper, something more routine than before. All the way up to Darrow, and the unfamiliar space he needed to learn to navigate from the first step.

It's been nearly a year since he first arrived, and he almost got to the point of relaxing. If he went a day without applying mousse in his hair, it didn't matter. If he went a couple of days without shaving, it didn't matter. The people he surrounded himself with, the job that he'd sunk his teeth into, all of it was comfortable in a way that he never quite fully accepted, but accepted enough.

With one disappearance, all of that faded, and now Chase feels like he's walking a tightrope again. It's the reason why he returns to his apartment more often these days, the reason why he hasn't called most people or offered to hang out.

It's the reason why he finds himself standing in front of a church, considering more than ever the option of stepping inside.

Comments

[theorized]

"Work... makes the stakes higher. And my first priority isn't myself in the hospital, unlike almost any other time of day," Chase remarks with a small grin and a shrug, nodding his thanks to the server as they're seated, glasses immediately being filled with ice water. With the temperature having been fairly warm outside, Chase reaches out for his, taking a deep sip. "I guess that's part of why I like it so much. You can't really second-guess what you're there to do. You're being paid to take care of the people first and foremost. Now, getting there, that's another story entirely."

[losttheright]

"Yeah," Molly says, brow raising. "I think I get what you mean." It wouldn't even begin to be the case for everyone, she knows, where her own field is concerned, given the number of people that she suspects go into politics more to feed their ego than anything else, but as far as she's concerned, it's always been about the greater good. It's just in a much less direct way, broad instead of specific, not nearly so hands-on. She could never in a million years do what he does. She finds other ways of making a difference instead. "And when it's something you're that devoted to, it's... easy to get lost in it."

[theorized]

"Easier as time goes on, anyway," Chase replies, grinning and shaking his head at himself as he thinks about his own progression through medicine. "When I started working under my boss about a decade ago, I was probably the laziest diagnostician you'd ever meet. I was good enough at my job, but I fell into this habit of figuring that I could work smart rather than hard, which probably spared me some worry lines, but after a while you find that you can't straddle that area unless you don't mind stagnating, career-wise. There's always someone out there who's going to try to beat you out of your job. No one has it easy."

[losttheright]

"Oh, God, tell me about it," Molly says, head tipping back slightly. Before this place, she never had the chance to get far enough to be a part of that battle herself, but she's been witnessing the cutthroat world of politics for as long as she can remember, another instance where that's the case. Here, she got her start easily enough, but she's had to fight to keep it, to prove her worth, to begin working her way up the ladder. She doesn't intend to let up for a second. "People will do just about anything to try to get ahead. Even if they have to step on other people to do so."

[theorized]

He orders a bottle of red wine for the both of them, something likely to match the rest of the fare in the restaurant, then lets his gaze linger a bit longer on Molly. He likes that she isn't naive like some people are at that age, even though it's always a question of whether or not the steps that lead a person to that place were ultimately worth it. One thing's for sure, though — Chase is long past that naivete himself, and between being unable to keep quiet when it's in front of his eyes and wanting to preserve something of innocence in others, he generally gives those people a wide berth.

"Have you ever done something like that? Step on other people to climb the ladder?" Chase asks, tilting his head in interest.

[losttheright]

Though it's probably not the most appropriate response to a question like that, given her own history, Molly smiles a little at that, shaking her head. "No, no," she says. "At least, not on purpose." There's a difference, she thinks, between making the most of a situation and making someone else a casualty. The first, anyone would do. The latter just isn't the way she chooses to work, even if it means she has to try harder to defend herself against it. "But when you've been stepped on, you kind of learn a lot about all of that."

[theorized]

"That you do," Chase says with a wry nod, lips curved at the thought of what he's done in the past. Nothing serious in the grand scheme of things, but definitely enough to know that the consequences often feel worse than any gains. Especially when Gregory House wasn't the type of person who rewarded ladder-climbing when he saw it in front of him.

But that isn't a story that Chase wants to share over dinner, especially so shortly after he's finally decided to make himself available for socializing again.

"Anyway, shall we order?"

[losttheright]

"Yeah, let's do that," Molly says with a nod, smiling over at him. It's a little relieving, honestly, that there are no further questions asked about it than that. The subject is one she's come to terms with somewhat since showing up here, especially for the knowledge that what she'd first thought happened actually didn't, but that doesn't mean it's at all pleasant to recount. Besides, even if she left names and details out of it, it would be a strange turn of conversation when she's just mentioned Stephen in a totally different light. She isn't angry that he capitalized on her death — fuck, if anything, she's grateful, certain that he'll make sure it wasn't for nothing — but it wouldn't sound good, she's sure. "I think I know what I want, how about you?"

[theorized]

"I always look to the gnocchi first," Chase says with a hard sigh, glancing down at the items on the menu, letting down some of the tension in his body as he does so. Just because it's been a long day and the next should prove to be just as tiring doesn't mean that he can't enjoy the time that he does have off. "And I'm definitely not saying that as a gourmet, either. If anything, I am pretty sure that the only reason why I look for gnocchi first is because I like saying the word so much. Gnocchi... maybe with some type of red sauce tonight."